Dinosaurs are f-ing awesome

I would like to briefly thank all of the ladies who responded to my column/personal ad last week. I got a surprising variety of reactions, including hilarious ones (Hazel, please let's meet if you really are a girl - that was hot), serious ones and supportive ones-even, and even somewhat angry ones about how it was "stupid" and "immature." In every case, I'd like to thank you for all of your continued interest. I urge you fine ladies to keep those emails coming. I could even write about a new romance each week and call my column "Gossip Guy, XOXO."

In reality, I am going to do nothing of that sort. I don't have any ideas for my column this week. I don't have any girls to shamelessly bad mouth, nor do I have any interest in soliciting myself twice over. That would seem a bit desperate.

Instead, I'm going to write about how my favorite movie as a kid, "The Land Before Time," really comforted my troubled head last week. I know it was my favorite because of how much I loved dinosaurs. I wanted to be an archaeologist when I was four, but I have long since abandoned that, because I found out that the dinosaurs wouldn't be alive when I dug them up.

Real dinosaur bones were my most prized possessions. I wished I could grow up to be a Velociraptor. "Dougal Dixon's Dinosaurs" was my favorite book, and even though it listed sophisticated biological data and statistics, I still preferred it to other bedtime books. When I was three, I learned to swear and I told a group of family guests that I had a "f***ing dinosaur." I was a dino-nerd, and I was f***ing proud of it.

You might think I liked the animated film for the sole reason that it was about dinosaurs. That was admittedly a big part of it, but I rediscovered the other differentiating reasons when I watched it again last week. In the countless years since I last watched "The Land Before Time," I had forgotten the extent to which children's movies, like this one, go into depressing and challenging detail. I was extremely surprised to come close to tears when Littlefoot's mother died. I won't say I actually cried, because we all know boys don't do that unless they are watching "The Notebook" with their girlfriends.

The movie is fantastic and riveting, even more so after all of these years. One aspect of movies I feel makes or breaks them is the score, and this one's was akin to the "Edward Scissorhands" score by Danny Elfman. It's wondrous and it makes the film so mystical. Another great aspect is the narrator present in the film who elaborates on Littlefoot's road to both maturity and the Great Valley. The movie is, in short, more enlightening now than ever before.

Several concepts surprised me in this movie that had not occurred in my young mind. As I mentioned before, I didn't remember that Littlefoot's mom dies in the beginning. I was also surprised at the tenacity of the characters, and how I became motivated by Littlefoot's courage in going against all odds to find new life in the Great Valley. The best part was Pitri's line, which made me laugh (out loud), "You - leave - without - Pitri?" He's hilarious.

This children's movie has motivated me to succeed in college, and I find that somewhat amazing. Most importantly, it's given me a bit of solace when remembering loved ones lost. I finally took note of the character Rooter; though he is only present for a few moments in the movie, his wisdom is most concise and comforting."The Great Circle of Life has begun," Rooter said. "But you see, not all of us arrive together at the end." This wise saying of "old Rooter" was significantly more deep than anything I had thought existed in the film.

When you really need it, turn back to your old childhood dreams. They really can reassure you when you're stressed about the future and uncertain about the direction in which your adult life is headed.