Obama ready to tackle Bow College Series reform

Fear not, college football fanatics. The Hope and Change Express is headed into the heart of the Bowl College Series (BCS) for some reform and regulation. Though the Obama administration has proven several times already that the portion it has heaped on its silver platter is already too hefty for its available utensils, the White House continues to bite off more than it can chew. Obama’s election and first go-around with the college crowd was a success, largely because  students don’t pay taxes. But his second run will surely prove even more of a failure than his stimulus bills.
Rather than direct the administration’s full focus towards tightening national security, controlling outrageous government spending, coping with a healtcare bill on life support or designing a real economic recovery, the Obama administration has decided to combat “concerns with the college football postseason.”
Not only am I baffled as to why we are paying the Justice Department to look into college football, but I’m perplexed as to what these slacking bureaucrats plan to achieve in this reform. If this is a true Obama blueprint it should go something like this: players, such as USC’s Joe McKnight, will have to redistribute their total yards accumulated for the year to second and third string running backs throughout the nation to support those whose work ethic are lacking.
A superstar performer such as Florida’s Tim Tebow would be scrutinized and taxed for the excessive amount of perspiration and energy emissions he produces during a game.
The once national hero, now certified dunce, Michael Crabtree would be the beneficiary of some sort of compensation system for the totally capable who would rather fall into the luxurious lifestyle of American unemployment.
An overpaid under-performing coach like Charlie Weis would not only qualify for free government healthcare, due to his disregard for any form of nutrition or exercise, but would also fall under the iron fist of a pay czar as his losses continued to mount up.
Last but not least, the number of referees, booth reviews and worthless officials that move sideline markers would increase tenfold, ensuring that four quarters of college football would be more sluggish than ever.
Based on their counter-actual research on climate change, spending your way out of debt and providing free healthcare to Americans who spend up to $600 dollars a month on cigarettes instead of paying for insurance, I’d rather the inefficient tentacles of government not slither into the world of college football.
In a recent interview, Arizona State University quarterback Samson Szakacsy stated that “From a player’s standpoint it depends on if [Obama] shortens the season or not. If he just adds more games, you know the players don’t get paid like the NFL, and it’s already a long season as far as injuries go. When you start you’re never 100 percent. That’s just the way it is.”
Expecting anyone to work harder is considered blasphemy in all branches of the federal government, so that pretty much eliminates any such possibility as suggested by Szakacsy. Additionally, forcing more games on college players will raise their exposure to injury, seriously threatening their livelihood as potential professionals in the NFL.
Szakacsy also brought up a very valid point which puts the playoff system in the same predicament as the current bowl structure: “How do you compare the powerhouses, the Floridas and Alabamas, to the smaller schools that go undefeated? I think the playoff system would create just as much controversy trying to decide what teams are eligible.”
Once again it looks as if Obama plans on making an unrealistic attempt at tackling the college football post-season, thus producing the staple product of his administration: failure.
When Obama took office, the unemployment rate hovered at 7.6 percent. 134.6 million Americans were employed. At the signing of his massive economic stimulus, he assured the country that the bill would resuscitate the economy and keep the unemployment rate below 8 percent. Currently, only 129.5 million Americans have a job and the unemployment rate has shot up to 9.7 percent. The few “jobs” which have been created are, to no surprise, in the slothful public sector, with 33,000 new government positions added in January alone.
How is it that our government can be $12 trillion in debt, yet still muster up the funds to run Super Bowl ads at $3.1 million every thirty seconds, alerting us of the upcoming census? I just don’t know. As the Dow Jones closed Tuesday below 10,000 for the first time in three months, one has to wish that the same “hope” and “change” which has been blanketed across our country doesn’t infect college athletics as well.