Draft day

Here are my unfiltered thoughts as I jotted them down during last Thursday's NFL Draft.
4:25: I feel like a girl on prom night - so excited, yet so nervous.  
 

4:33: Commissioner Roger Godell appears from the Big Ben cloud of hysteria and gives some mundane speech about the past, present and future. It was a lackluster performance that would make USD's king of rhetoric, Dr. Larry Williamson, cringe.  
 


4:38: The Rams take Sam Bradford. Who cares? I don't. I think about the Darrius Heyward-Bey pick and start getting nervous. I grab some pita chips and eat my stress away. I feel like Kirstie Alley. 
 


4:42: Ndamukong Suh looks like a 400 lbs Jay-Z in his vest as he strolls out on stage as the number two pick, but I am still wondering how the Raiders will blow it this year. Maybe they will take Bruce Campbell because he is a workout warrior or maybe they will take Eric Berry because Al Davis only drafts secondary players that turn out to be short of spectacular (see Michael Huff, Fabian Washington and Phillip Buchannan). 
 


4:49: There is a quasi-political World Cup ad with U2's Bono, which I would assume makes Opinion Editor Ryan Mulvey think that Bono has something to do with Obama's communist plot to take over the world. 
 


4:52: The Buc's  take  Gerald McCoy and Jon Gruden chimes in on the selection. All I can think about is how fast the Oakland Raiders organization went south after Gruden left us. 
 


5:00: Jimmy Clausen, Russell Okung and Rolando McClain could be had, and I am content with any one of these guys. However, as long as Bruce Campbell is on the board, I remain tense, just as if my date were putting on my corsage. 
 


5:03:  My dad calls me and tells me the Raiders are idiots for not giving the Steelers their eighth pick for Ben Rothlisberger. I agree and can sense he is also prepping himself for Armageddon. 
 


5:07: The Chiefs take Eric Berry with the fifth pick and I am somewhat relieved we are not using another number one pick on a secondary player.  


5:09: Fiber One Caramel Delight cereal is nothing short of amazing.  
 


5:15: The Seahawks take Okung. Should we take Clausen and let him become the face of the franchise?

5:20: Do hipsters know they're hipsters? 

5:28 Rolando McClain's name is called and I am not pulling my hair out. This is the first time in years the Raiders may have gotten something right. I guess Al Davis was too busy watching "Matlock" reruns to ruin this pick.