Olympic gems

“Cool Runnings” captured our attention as kids, and rightfully so. It is one of the best movies ever made about Jamaican bobsledding and can also lay claim to bringing more attention to the Winter Olympics for an entire generation. It was here where our generation learned of the Winter Olympics and it is here where we stopped learning. Our knowledge of these Games rarely goes beyond us wondering whether or not there actually is a Jamaican bobsled team competing this year. And that is the beauty of the games.
There are plenty of reasons to watch the Winter Olympics. The men’s hockey tournament offers the best competition in the world, waiting to see what crazy thing Bode Miller will do next, and of course keeping up with the ongoing Lindsey Vonn saga offer plenty of intriguing storylines. However, I allege, the most satisfying and entertaining reason to watch the Winter Olympics is to enjoy obscure sports that we watch once every four years and then to pretend that we are expert fans. The charm of these games is to imagine ourselves to be connoisseurs of curling, aficionados of alpine skiing and supreme authorities of skeleton.
Because neither you nor your friends actually know anything about the sport you are watching, you can flaunt a sense of indisputable expertise without anyone questioning you. The more you judge, yell and curse at the T.V., the more your credibility increases. Any little phrase or idiom you can glean from the broadcasters can be turned around and thrown in your friends’ faces. You have now become the expert because you can inanely ramble about something you only pretend to know about.
Lamenting over Ole Einar Bjorndalen’s four penalties in the biathlon or debating why world number one Petter Northug was outdueled by Dario Cologna to capture the men’s 15km freestyle cross-country gold is the perfect way to show just how much you know about these Games. By doing so, you prove yourself the more cultured sporting fan. Of course you still know nothing about the sport or any of the athletes, but that is not the point. It is sometimes more fun to pretend to be the expert because then you can say whatever you want without actually having to think about it rationally.
So when you are catching the Nordic event or doubles luge race, don’t hesitate to voice your opinion. This is one of the few times you will be able to spout drivel without feeling remorse. I say relish this opportunity because, hey, you won’t be able to do it again for another four years.